Could someone please suggest anything I can do to help me sleep early? Like at least one AM. I couldn’t stop working and it’s already three at dawn. I have no feeling of drowsiness at all. In fact, I could stay up until the sun rises. I should receive an extra pay for working on a graveyard shift. I drank milk earlier weirdly paired with pancit canton. Also, puto and hard boiled egg. What’s the English word for puto? I don’t bother to know, duuh. I went outside together with my mama. I’m always hungry after midnight. Guess it’s not supposed to be called midnight snack anymore.

I keep on yawning. But when I try to close my eyes, it would take me almost an hour to get knocked out. I’m crying, I want to go back to my old self where five minutes is too long to make me fall asleep. I couldn’t remember the last time I had a real breakfast before lunch time. Help me. This isn’t healthy.

I just had a call with my lead and it was the one of the talks I needed to have in this time of my life. I tell you, my work is killing me. Imagine me dealing with so much technical stuff going on and I am an HRM graduate. Sometimes I think it was a little mishap on choosing an IT job than pursuing the degree I hold. But I did not regret my choice. However, I am struggling with my work right now and as what I have said on my FB status last night, I am in between giving up and seeing how more I can take. I don’t know if she (my lead) has read my posts both in FB and my blog on how stressed I am at work, or my teammates told her I sleep at past four AM everyday. But honey, she just said the right words I needed to hear during our one hour call. I almost cried of gratefulness on how much she understands how I feel. I never thought she’d even care about my personal life. She’s way too busy to be bothered ‘bout non-work related things. I am just so happy she spared a little time for me in spite of her hectic schedule. Her comforting words somehow relieved the pressure and stress stuck in me for so long. Nah, just kidding. Just a few weeks maybe.

I almost lose my motivation to work, afraid I cannot deliver what is expected from me. But there is something that pushes me to go on. I don’t know what is it. I look forward to finding it out. Last year, I came to point where I wanted to look for another job – the one which I love to do. But then again, I didn’t push through for some personal reasons. Reasons only God truly understands. No sugarcoating, but I didn’t have a good relationship with my previous team. I’m glad I was transferred to another project. The workload is so much more a pain in the ass, but the people around me made it lighter. Well, not easy to accomplish the task, but at least I have a team whom I can run into when my brain capacity drops to zero percent. So long as I need an income, which I think will be forever, kakapit ako besh.

It’s almost three in the morning and I’m still wide awake. I want to believe it’s the Panna Cotta I ate at late afternoon today that’s keeping me up or the Oaties milk. But sadly, no. Lately, I’ve been sleeping so late. My body clock has gone crazy. It started when I watched Netflix movies on my phone. I couldn’t stop browsing for another movie once I finished one. Also, I’ve been too busy with work. Last week, I got home at almost 3 AM. You see, I am not a morning person. I get so productive at night, because I like working on quiet hours. It doesn’t make me feel sleepy at all. How ironic am I of a normal person?
Oh, the rain has just stopped pouring. I really want to sleep now. I have to take a call tomorrow at ten in the morning. Well, good thing, I can work from home anytime I want. So, I’ll just come by to the office maybe after lunch. I am trying to wake up early like I used to, but my alarm doesn’t work. Or maybe I just ignore it every time it rings and swipe snooze about ten times. Lol.

Now, I’m having allergies all over my right leg. I blame it to the chicken I had for lunch. This is seriously itchy. It looks gross, full of my scratches. Hope the marks will be gone when I wake up. Also, my eyes are so puffy. I can pass as a brokenhearted teenage girl who cried overnight. I need the most powerful concealer. My eyeglasses couldn’t cover these up.

I was supposed to post my OOTD blog last night but the photos wouldn’t load. Guess the size is quite heavy or my internet connection is testing my patience again. Now I’m still working on that blog waiting for one photo to upload. If it still doesn’t, I’ll postpone the post on weekend maybe.

It’s almost holy week. My close friend and I planned for a getaway this weekend in celebration of our birthday. Hers will be on the 18th and mine is on 23rd. We might to go some pool and have fun with our churchmates our age. I wish they’d prepare a surprise for us. Haha! Those crazy fellas.

Can’t wait for next week to come. I should start packing this Friday for my birthday trip. Crossing fingers the weather wouldn’t be so killjoy on our travel date. It would be a great birthday gift for me. Just good weather and happy memories. I’m turning 25 real soon. Omg. Slow down age.

Forgive me, I wasn’t able to accomplish the 31-day blog post challenge for last month. I got so busy at work. I even had to study on weekends, I’m crying. We had to lessen our date time so he could teach me. I’m so slow in technical stuff but I got no choice. I have to learn it for the sake of not losing my job. Thankfully, I have a boyfriend who willingly sacrifices his time and effort on coaching me.

Anyways, summer’s here… my birthday’s near. I will travel on my birthday to somewhere beachy, wear some bikinis and get sun-kissed. So excited to dip into the water, walk by the seashore holding a buko juice maybe… and the other hand holding my love Adrian. I promise to take good photos and will blog about the trip.

Yesterday was so productive. It’s about a new beginning. As much as I would love to share it here, I don’t wanna jinx it. It’s something I’ve been longing for.

Okay so tomorrow is Monday again. Ugh! I hate Mondays! I’m a Saturday person. Y’know I think rest days should also take up to 5 days. I mean com’on, we’ve worked for 5 days straight. But well, that’s life – tough! I think I’m gonna hit the sack early tonight. I’ll just wait for AJ to finish his work. Poor darling, working so hard. Last night his friends invited him for a night out. I pushed him to go. He should spend some time with his friends. He’s a good boy so I only have to worry him driving late at night. I’m not the type of girlfriend who keeps on messaging him while he’s out with the guys. I let him enjoy and of course, remind to please behave. I just watched a movie while waiting for him. I usually sleep late when it’s Friday and Saturday night. By the way, the movie is Letters to Juliet. Now I wanna fly to Italy and not going back home until I have wandered all around the place. It’s just so romantic there, I’m so jealous. I wanna watch the movie again because of the setting. Somebody please take me to that place. It’s now on the top of my bucketlist. Kay, I won’t make this long since I have a new post coming up next. But Italy…

Friday and Saturday night are the best! You see I’m still up at this hour. Just done creating the templates I mentioned in my previous blog. Maybe sometime I’ll post it here.

I thought I’d be able to do laundry today. I’m gonna do it tomorrow instead, after church. Also, I have to study tomorrow and review my trainings for work. Then maybe watch a good movie while slurping an ice cream. Speaking of which, my favorite flavor is ube. When I was a kid I liked the mango. I don’t really like too much sweet flavors, except for Rocky Road and I only like it because it has mallows and nuts. Fruit salad flavor, too! Now I’m craving for ice cream with pancit canton. Jeez weez. My appetite is so weird. My mind is telling me to eat but my body can’t move. My eyes are half closed but I’m still typing. I should stop now. Sweet dreams.

Home alone today! I don’t know where the people are but I like being home alone. I can do whatever I want. I’m a home girl and I don’t like blaring atmosphere on weekends. It’s my only time to rest and thus, quiet hours would be really much appreciated. I can only hear the chickens clucking. Province feels but I’m actually in the middle of the city. Not much vehicles on the road, no horns blowing. So serene. The only sounds I can in my room is the ceiling fan and the mouse clicks of my netbook. I don’t usually write on daytime because I’m a vampire. Jokes. Everything distracts me but now I am blogging because my surrounding is so peaceful. It feels like summer already. Also, I haven’t taken a shower yet. I’m wearing the most comfortable leggings and a refreshing tank top.

Saturday is our date-day but he is working on his part-time job today at home and I have to make wedding invitation templates for my sideline business. Anyway we had dinner last night and just unwinding. I don’t feel like going out this day. I attempted to do calligraphy just earlier but my ink spilled. Was so pissed. I thought of getting my coloring book but I saw my netbook first so I started blogging instead. Last night I slept late. I watched movies so I woke up at around 10 am already. I have so much on the list to do today but my lazy ass couldn’t get off the bed. I think I’m gonna do the laundry later. I wanna watch some movies in the cinema with AJ right now, just like we always do on Saturdays but he’s really busy and I don’t wanna disturb him. I’m gonna go create the templates now. Kbye.

I know it’s past midnight but I’m wide awake. I was waiting for him to get home from playing badminton with his teammates. Thursday is his play day (after work) and wish he could do it at least thrice a week just so he could get some exercise. Hoping I could join too but nah, I’m sure I’ll call in sick the day after. I really have no exercise done and I know it’s not good. We thought of going to the gym together but it would be inconvenient for me. Or let’s just say I’m lazy, to get things straight.

I desperately want and need a whole body massage. I sit all day at work but it’s so tiring. Next week I’d better give myself a treat or I can’t survive any longer. Massage would be the best. Now I’m gonna sleep because tomorrow is still hella Thursday. I’m yawning every second. I’m setting my alarm to 7:30am but we all know I snooze it ten times until the clock strikes at 8. I’ll have no choice. Every morning is a struggle for me. I’m really gettin’ a good sleep now. Wake me up when February ends.

It has been a looong day. I just turned off my work laptop. I’m home but I was working. I had to double my time taking all of my trainings in preparation for my new project. Unfortunately, still not even half way to get everything done. Worse, I have to compose essays. Yes I love writing! No doubts on that. But not work-related please. I’m having mini heart attacks for these bunch of trainings. Y’know this is one of those moments when I’d use my one wish to Genie that these trainings shall be all done right now. Also, if I can still wish for one more, that’s for my brain to absorb everything I read from the past days. Or maybe Genie could just associate this second wish to the first one. Ughhh this is torture! One thing I hate most is working when i supposed to be scrolling up and down on FB feeds or tapping hearts on Instagram photos or maybe just writing another blog about anything under the sun. Please let it be Saturday tomorrow! Or at least payday. I’m dying of tiredness and this body seriously needs a whole massage if that’s gonna be possible. Well that should be. Rescue me people! (insert scream here) I think the best thing to do now is to sleep. Right.